Life

A formula.
Trying to understand.

It’s kinda complex.

The more I think, the less I understand.
I don’t think I ever will.

…but then
How can I live if I don’t know what rules to follow?
Just something which feels safe.

Analysis

• You don’t have to follow any rule in life. Fuck the world. Nothing makes sense anyways.
• You have to follow social scripts to ‘pass’ at your job, to be allowed in the gym, to not be harrassed on the street.

I’d like to radicalize these rules. Clear up all the mental noise they create. Abolish them.
Fill their space with me.
Replace the worries of being rejected with pure existing.

But still, it’s not black and white. Sometimes you need safety.
God, I hate defining things clearly.

Love

I am Lauda. And noone gets me down.
I love myself, and everyone.
I never step down learning.
My confusion beats all definition.
Once I learned everything there is to learn, I’ll clear my mind and do it all over.
I’m no longer scared.
I write this story.